apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Randomize
