Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
