i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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