My balls are so social today.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
