trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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