Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
