So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
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