I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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