With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
