so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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