When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
