gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
