dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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