and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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