All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
