Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
