why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
