she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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