I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
