I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Send help, water and tortillas.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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