Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
