Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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