forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
