I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
