Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
