sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
