your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
When are your genitals available?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
