um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Randomize
