the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
