I hope my margaritas pass through security.
i dont even know how to be here
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
