On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
