As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I am available for nakedness
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
