remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
