You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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