Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
try to milk me bitch
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
