If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
