you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
...so i touched it.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
