Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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