You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
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