Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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