ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
try to milk me bitch
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
