i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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