Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
