so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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