I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I need help removing her.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Randomize
