where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
