this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
He did a backflip because drugs
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
