hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
