Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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