I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
We have started to decorate penises.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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