I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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