CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
